It’s Mental Health Awareness Week and the focus this year is on kindness and it got me thinking. You see, I’m not very kind to myself, I can be down on myself, not tidying up enough, not finishing up my do to list, the kids aren’t simulated enough, we’re all still in pyjamas at 11am and Sigi is half covered in her breakfast. Thing is this, my mental health has been really good at the moment, I’m focusing on the positive, but I still have my moments where I’m really harsh on myself and it’s not good for me and it’s not a good example for my kids. I don’t want them to think that it’s ok to fixate on what they don’t like about themselves and then to beat themselves up about it. As everyone has something they don’t like about themselves, and that’s ok, as no one is perfect and you can accept, like and love yourself, even the bits you don’t like.
It also makes it hard for me to accept a compliment. I often do the classic deflect and say something negative about myself, and I know I’m not the only person who does this. I don’t why it’s so hard for me just to smile and say thank you. I feel like I have to point out something negative about myself, otherwise I’m full of myself. It’s the same when I post pictures on here or on social media. I take easily 50 photos a time and scrutinized every single one, looking at all my flaws and then getting annoyed and upset with myself as I’m trying to focus on the good and positive. Which then gets me feeling like I’ve failed again and it can become a cycle sometimes, which I then have to focus on stopping, which is never fun nor is it good for my mental health.
With all this above, I’ve spent Mental Health Awareness Week reflecting and it has made me realise that I’ve focusing so much on having a positive mindset, that I forgot about being fair to myself. No one can be 100% positive all the time, there are going to be days where things don’t get done, where me and the kids spend the day in pyjamas, where I’m just in a bit of a grump, and that’s ok. It’s better and kinder for me to have my occasional bad days because it makes my good days (which are often) so much better.