Stage 1: Preparation.
It’s official you’re going out out for the first time since you had a baby. It’s exciting, you’re finally going to get out and have actual adult interaction but first you’ve got to get ready.
This used to be easy, but between being constantly interrupted to help feed, change and burp and realising that only a third of your wardrobe currently fits and half of that is currently covered in either baby poop or thrown up milk, does throw a bit of a spanner in the works. But perseverance pays off and you manage to get ready. You feel good in the knowledge that for the first time in a while, you’ve decided what to wear on more than is it clean? Is it comfy?
Stage 2: The First Drink.
You’re out now and you’ve got your first drink of the night, surrounded by friends and you’ve just realised that you’ve got to make conversation that doesn’t involve your baby’s sleep schedule or how many times they poo a day. You start to panic slightly you won’t be able to, but then you start talking, start catching up. You find you can talk about your baby but you also chat about what’s going on in your friends lives and just nice to be about with everyone.
Stage 3: Reaching Your Limit.
This happens far quicker than it would before you had your baby, seriously the second drink you’re tipsy and by the third one you’re half way to gazebo’d.
There’s that slight worry that you’re going to revert to teenage you, who couldn’t hold their drink and ended up seriously embarrassing themselves. Thankfully you’re older now (not necessarily wiser) and know your limits. On your third you start pacing yourself and once you realise that you’re reaching your limit you decided to call it a night. Sure it’s earlier than you would normally head home, but you’ve got two little ones at home and sadly gone are the days where you can hide under the covers all day after a night out.
Stage 4: The Next Day.
You wake up feeling more than a little bit delicate but loving the fact you got to go out. But you do regret that third drink though, especially when your toddler decides to his indoor voice (which is really his outdoor voice) right into your ear as a sign of affection (at least, you think it’s a sign of affection).