When I first found I was pregnant our second baby, my first thought “Oh my god, I’m pregnant, yay”. My second thought was, “oh sh*t I’m going to have give birth again”. I was worried and scared, the first time round hadn’t gone to plan at all and my mental health had taken a beating because of it and I know that can’t happen again, not only for myself but also for my family.
Even before I became pregnant again, me and the hubby had had a lot of discussions about what would happen if/when I had to deliver another a baby. The more we talked about it, the more I realised that having an elective c-section was the best way to go. It meant that I know what’s going to happen and how my body will recover. It also allows me to feel like I’m in control this time round. Which I found looking back was the biggest issue I had, the feeling that I had lost all control over my delivery, and how it had been exactly what I hadn’t wanted at the time.
If you live in UK and you’ve already had a c-section then, with your next pregnancy you have a Vbac (vaginal birth after c-section) clinic appointment to discuss your birthing options. This normally happens after your 20 week scan, mine happened at 22 weeks. I won’t lie I was nervous about going in, despite everything I was scared of being judged or being made to feel guilty for having another c-section. Thankfully my fears were unfounded, the midwife in the vbac appointment put me at ease straight away. She asked me, what did I want? When I told her I want an elective c-section, she simply smiled, nodded and wrote it down in my notes. As she put it, I know my body and mental health better than anyone else, so I shouldn’t feel bad for wanting what was best for me. We talked about the risks involved (both with c-sections and vbac’s) and also making the hubby my medical advocate, in case I was too out of it to voice my opinion. I left the appointment feeling a lot better about my choice and a lot more relaxed about the process.
Now we’re just waiting for my 36 week appointment, where I’ll meet the consultant and hopefully the anaesthetist. We’ll discussed the whole process and I’ll be given a date for the c-section. The date will between 39 and 40 weeks. They do this, so they know that the baby’s lungs are developed but that there should less chance of me going into labour beforehand.
I’ve got to say, this birth plan is the opposite of my birth plan I had with Frey, but I feel much more relaxed this time round surprisingly. I think it’s because I know exactly what to expect this time round and I feel much more in control and prepared as well. Which in turn is helping with my anxiety over everything that happened with Frey’s birth. And now that I’m in the third trimester I’m beginning to get excited and I just can’t wait to meet baby number 2.